Handling Hairbrushing and Haircuts

So, amongst his hypersensitivities, J has a real aversion to the touching, cutting and brushing of his hair.  We long ago realised that the 'cheery chappy' ruffling of a youngster's hair by an adult was something that would send J into a flat spin.  He loathes even the slightest touch of his hair.  In fact, the lighter the touch, the more he tends to dislike it.

Hairbrushing, when it is undertaken, is a much screamed about and avoided chore.  J will not brush his own hair (usually) and is very anti 'someone else doing it'...  So, on most days, we tend to keep it to a minimum.  However, sometime, the bedhair and ruffle look is not going to be OK for heading out so we do some serious negotiations around how to get a brush through the hair.  Usually, this will entail a 'distraction' agreement such as J uses the iPad to minecraft whilst I speedily attempt to tame his locks.  The other month, things changed a bit and a step towards a solution was taken.  A friend's daughter uses a Tangle Teezer and she suggested we try one out.  I mentioned this to J (as we've tried different brush types in the past and don't want another gathering dust in the bathroom cupboard) and he said "well, if it's yellow I will give it a go".... So, my task was to source a yellow Tangle Teezer.  First stop was the Tangle Teezer website where, to my dismay, I discovered they don't do yellow brushes.  All was not lost, however, as I emailed them through their contact form and an impressively swift reply arrrived by email.  Not only did they have a special salon edition yellow brush that they had found in their warehouse, but they were offering to send it out for J!!  The parcel was swiftly delivered and the lovely Sara had exceeded our expectations by not only sending the yellow brush, but it was packed in a box with yellow tissue paper... this was met with great delight. 

The brush was inspected and set to one side and then, a few days later, J actually brushed his hair with the Tangle Teezer and said 'it's not that bad' which is high praise indeed.



Thank you Tangle Teezer for going that extra mile and finding a brush that J is willing to use.  We really do appreciate it.





Haircuts are something that we have come to carry out in a regimented way to allow J to know what to expect.  He goes to a local barber, has the same chap cut his hair and sometimes does now actually talk whilst he's there.  The whole thing is a trial to be tolerated but only on a quiet day, when he's feeling well and we've talked about it for a couple of weeks beforehand.  There is now a trigger length when he will mention he may need a haircut - when his hair whips his eyes when trampolining.  We know it's then time to start the preparation and that, soon-ish, the problem hair will hit the floor having been cut.  The barber knows all about J and has been cutting his hair for well over 7 years.  He commented the last time that J's tremors were less noticeable which is good.  In the past, at a previous barber's, the 'awful man' shouted across to me "has he got Parkinson's or something? He's twitching like mad here"... so I said "actually he DOES have a neurological disorder - thanks for sharing that with the whole shop".  Needless to say we never returned to that particular place.  For J, having his haircut is all about knowing what to expect and how long he has to manage dealing with getting it done...  We aim to go early in the day and, after a haircut, we don't plan anything else as J just wants to return home to his Lego and swingseat.

Is this sort of thing familiar to you?  How do you deal with such senstivities?  Share your ideas and solutions in the comments below... 

Some Weighty Ideas

Having Developmental Co-ordination Disorder, or Dyspraxia, J has always struggled with knowing where his bits and bobs are.... or as those in the 'know' call it proprioception.  For instance, wandering around in the dark, when missing vital visual cues, he is far more adrift than if he's anchored to the floor in full daylight.

Night times when he was younger we would go into his room to find one leg up the wall and the other on the floor (yes, he is hypermobile, but this was ridiculous even for him) or both legs up the wall at the head of the bed with him covered by the duvet.  Other nights, he'd be found upside down INSIDE the duvet cover and, of course, he also fell out of bed regularly.  He shouted out in the night, some times as often as hourly, not knowing where he was, where his bedding was and how to get warm again.

Having read up loads on the matter, we decided to try weighted blankets (and, yes, we had tried firm tucking in with a blanket - not up to the job of restricting his cavorting nighttime antics).  Seven years ago it was hard to source weighted products in the UK and where they were available they were very expensive.



Luckily a relative is a frequent visitor to the US so we asked him to bring back a weighted blanket for J to try.  He got on OK with it initially - it is the sort that has sewn in pockets which are then filled with bags of plastic (we think) beads.  The good thing about this kind of blanket is you can adjust the weight and/or change the weight to areas where they're needed more. However, as the warmer nights came it was declared to be "too warm" and "lumpy so we looked for something a little less cumbersome.







We found another type of blanket which was far thinner, made of what feels like a sort of low pile plush fabric with a weighted, flexible layer between.  It is smaller - the size of a bath sheet - and great for deep pressure rolling, wrapping and tucking into bed.  It's also good for travelling. Having looked on the internet for what's currently out there to buy, I am pretty sure this blanket is what we have although when we bought there was no option to buy a slipcover and it was considerably more expensive! 



J's OT at the time suggested a weight around his shoulders may help him.  She showed him a dolphin shaped product and I was astonished at the price - well over £80 for something 40cm long.  It was similar to this from TTS Group which I see comes in two weights and is a far more reasonable £25.  In response to the suggestion (and my refusal to pay so much) my brain started to think about what we could use/make/adapt ourselves.

For Christmas, J had been given a dog with a wheat pouch within which was intended as a warming device... it didn't take me long to remove the wheat pouch (the dog has a velcro tummy opening) and make a pocket out of old curtain lining material.  This was then filled with ceramic baking beans and the pocket was double stitched closed.  Adding the now filled and heavy pocket bag into the dog and tah dah - J had his very own weighted dog who is still offering faithful service to his master to this day.  Luckily the dog 'outer' is washable and all that's required is to remove the weight.

In the same vein, a weighted lap pack was made and this is also used over J's wrists when he's typing to stop his hand tremors from being so off putting for him.

A wrist band, which we can vary the weight of easily, is also something we have to hand.  This is made from curtain weights which we got from a haberdashery department.  Originally it was going to be sewn into some neoprene (from an old wet suit) but J doesn't want that yet... it's a work in progress and will be completed once he's decided what weight he finds most effective.

We make a lot of use of a weighted backpack when out and about.  It's loaded up with our 'provisions' (food, water bottles, spare clothing) for an outing and it helps J to know where his back is as well as making him feel grounded - particularly useful in crowds.  As you can see, his bag has a handle on just behind his neck and this is grabbed should a stumble happen or to give directions (subtly) if a situation is becoming overwhelming for him. Also, it has an identi-label on it (for contact phone numbers), and many fiddle toys and sensory activities dangling from it.  We can hear these rattle in a distinctive way so can track J from quite a distance if he feels able to explore... and the backpack can provide distraction and calming familiarity should things become too much for him.

We hope these ideas are of interest and use. PLEASE remember to check that what you use is appropriate and safe for you and yours... this is a record of what works for us.  There is no guarantee it will for others but you may think there's something you'd like to research more.  Thanks for reading.