Handling Hairbrushing and Haircuts

So, amongst his hypersensitivities, J has a real aversion to the touching, cutting and brushing of his hair.  We long ago realised that the 'cheery chappy' ruffling of a youngster's hair by an adult was something that would send J into a flat spin.  He loathes even the slightest touch of his hair.  In fact, the lighter the touch, the more he tends to dislike it.

Hairbrushing, when it is undertaken, is a much screamed about and avoided chore.  J will not brush his own hair (usually) and is very anti 'someone else doing it'...  So, on most days, we tend to keep it to a minimum.  However, sometime, the bedhair and ruffle look is not going to be OK for heading out so we do some serious negotiations around how to get a brush through the hair.  Usually, this will entail a 'distraction' agreement such as J uses the iPad to minecraft whilst I speedily attempt to tame his locks.  The other month, things changed a bit and a step towards a solution was taken.  A friend's daughter uses a Tangle Teezer and she suggested we try one out.  I mentioned this to J (as we've tried different brush types in the past and don't want another gathering dust in the bathroom cupboard) and he said "well, if it's yellow I will give it a go".... So, my task was to source a yellow Tangle Teezer.  First stop was the Tangle Teezer website where, to my dismay, I discovered they don't do yellow brushes.  All was not lost, however, as I emailed them through their contact form and an impressively swift reply arrrived by email.  Not only did they have a special salon edition yellow brush that they had found in their warehouse, but they were offering to send it out for J!!  The parcel was swiftly delivered and the lovely Sara had exceeded our expectations by not only sending the yellow brush, but it was packed in a box with yellow tissue paper... this was met with great delight. 

The brush was inspected and set to one side and then, a few days later, J actually brushed his hair with the Tangle Teezer and said 'it's not that bad' which is high praise indeed.



Thank you Tangle Teezer for going that extra mile and finding a brush that J is willing to use.  We really do appreciate it.





Haircuts are something that we have come to carry out in a regimented way to allow J to know what to expect.  He goes to a local barber, has the same chap cut his hair and sometimes does now actually talk whilst he's there.  The whole thing is a trial to be tolerated but only on a quiet day, when he's feeling well and we've talked about it for a couple of weeks beforehand.  There is now a trigger length when he will mention he may need a haircut - when his hair whips his eyes when trampolining.  We know it's then time to start the preparation and that, soon-ish, the problem hair will hit the floor having been cut.  The barber knows all about J and has been cutting his hair for well over 7 years.  He commented the last time that J's tremors were less noticeable which is good.  In the past, at a previous barber's, the 'awful man' shouted across to me "has he got Parkinson's or something? He's twitching like mad here"... so I said "actually he DOES have a neurological disorder - thanks for sharing that with the whole shop".  Needless to say we never returned to that particular place.  For J, having his haircut is all about knowing what to expect and how long he has to manage dealing with getting it done...  We aim to go early in the day and, after a haircut, we don't plan anything else as J just wants to return home to his Lego and swingseat.

Is this sort of thing familiar to you?  How do you deal with such senstivities?  Share your ideas and solutions in the comments below... 

Keeping Christmas Calm and Coping

December is upon us and the build up to Christmas is in full swing.  Some find this an exciting time of year full of anticipation and promise.  Others don't.

J struggles with crowds, loathes surprises and can't bear loud music 'blaring out and filling my head'.  So, we decided to chat about a few things that he thinks make this time of year more easy for him to deal with.

When he was in school, he hated the change of daily/weekly routine that inevitably came with end of term/Christmas show/party preparations and outings.  Surprises are NOT fun for him.  He says 'I like to know what to expect'.

Regarding presents, again, surprises are not welcome.  What works well is when J makes a list of 'things I would be happy to get... but I know I won't get all of them'.  Then we try to choose from them - although the list is always Lego, Pokemon, Nintendo and Star Wars items so we're pretty used to his likes by now.

Wrapping paper is a big issue.  J can't even be in the same room as brown corrugated cardboard and finds many paper textures unbearable.  He actually gets goosebumps when he hears or touches paper/card.  Today was quite notable as we managed to get some Christmas present wrapping done - he touched, cut, folded and stuck the paper.  Then he wrote the tag and stuck that on.  It took an hour and a half to wrap just four presents but he did them all.  This sort of OT activity works well because he can see there's a reason for what he needs to do.

For presents that J receives, he hates touching the wrapping paper and that's without having to deal with sellotaped ends.  His grandparents refuse to adjust their wrapping technique to accommodate this so I 'doctor' all presents prior to J getting them.  The ends are opened, with just a small piece of tape left to hold the wrapping in place.  With cards, I open the envelopes and he *may* remove the card depending on "how it looks like it feels".

Presents we give to J are wrapped with minimal taping that mean the innards are easy to retrieve or else they are placed in a gift bag with a simple, small piece of tape on the top edge.  Where things are too big to use these, we just use a plastic carrier bag and the ones from the Lego store, being yellow and mentioning Lego, work very well indeed.  We reuse these year after year.

Christmas food is handled by writing on our weekly timetable (a chart I made and then laminated so we can use white board pens on it) the meals for each day.  J talks about what he's happy to eat and we let him stick to that.  We want as calm a time as possible and find it's not the time to challenge his boundaries. 

Visiting people does not, generally, happen.  We have a particularly fantastic family who we've known for years that we sometimes pop to see but our visit follows a standard pattern and we take our own food that we share with everyone.  J knows where to go if he's finding it too much and wants to take some time out.  Our pals know not to make a fuss about things and understand that J never, ever says "Goodbye", he just heads off to the car and that's it. Visit done!

Basically, J likes things the way they are.  Christmas is no different.  So, if you know someone who has similar challenges, please bear in mind that what you like may not be the same for them.  There are ways round things, it's just a matter of finding, and accepting, what works for you/them.

Tackling Toothbrushing

Spiky therapy cushion for standing on...

Having found toothbrushing to be a problem for as long as J has had teeth (since he was 4 months old)... we have amassed quite a few tips, techniques and tricks to get us through this important daily care task.  It seems we are not alone in finding things challenging when addressing the tantrum inducing time that is toothbrushing.  So, here goes - if you recognise this as a difficult task to undertake, see what we've done and perhaps there's something that may work for you (for a while, at least!)

J says that it is unpleasant brushing his teeth and he doesn't like the sensations he gets.  This is a little odd, given that he is always mouthing objects and uses chewy tubes for deep sensory input.  However, as child with Sensory Processing Disorder,  we have found it's not unusual for him to be a sensory seeker and avoider in the same area!  What matters is to try to get the messages he is receiving to be positive ones for the activity being undertaken.  

So, techniques and methods used for toothbrushing have been:-

• Swaddling will sometimes work - the deep pressure sensation provides a feeling of security and calmness.  This is still a good option (even at 11 years old) after a shower when wrapped in a huge bath sheet as tiredness means he needs to be relaxed... he props himself against the wall and is cocooned.
• Different types of toothbrush and varied flavours of toothpaste - J chooses the brush/paste combination for tooth brushing.  He prefers a dry brush and a low foam toothpaste but also likes a minty taste.
• Firm touching around the mouth area and along the jaw bone prior to beginning the brushing has been encouraged. This is something J does for himself now.
• Positive tactile sensations -  J selects an item to stand on or play with (in his non brushing hand).  He likes a spiky therapy cushion some days, others he will choose a small spiky ball to squeeze in his hand.

This small spiky hand toy can help.

• Deep pressure on his shoulders whilst he is brushing - this used to be a favourite "only Mum can do it right" solution but it was good whilst it worked!
• Humming/singing along to the noise of the electric toothbrush - this seems a good distraction technique but works best when not too tired.
• Doing it together - J likes to mirror what someone else is doing whilst brushing... it helps him realise where/what/how he should be brushing.
• Using an app - there are some good apps to accompany brushing that indicate time and which teeth to brush.  Points are earned and this engaged J for a while - he prefers one called Teeth Timer.
• Visual sand timer countdown as to how long is left of the toothbrushing - allows J to realise there is an end in sight!
• Tick chart - this is completed morning and evening and a reward for a full week of ticks (two misses, not on the same day, are allowed). J chooses at the start of the week the reward he is cleaning towards.

Son's TEETH chart

All of the above have been a success at one time or another.  Many are used in combination.  There is no simple answer in this household and the surest thing we know about toothbrushing is that it's not the 2 minute task that many others have... we have to allow about 30 minutes.  During this time there is much discussion, briefing, kajoling and insistence.  It's not a straightforward task and it takes a great deal of patience, which I do not always have in sufficient amounts, so it is a pretty stressful way to start and finish each day.  

ADVANCE WARNING: We are aiming to cover handwriting in the next blog entry... although it will, doubtless, require more than one post as it's a BIG topic here.